Seven Classic Jewish Responses Upon Hearing Bad News

Parshas Bechukosai

Seven Classic Jewish Responses Upon Hearing Bad News

By Rabbi Dovid Zauderer


We are living in difficult times. Everyday someone shoots up an elementary school. Or a soldier gets stabbed to death. Or a bomb goes off in a grocery store. Or another person succumbs to Covid-19. Or a woman is diagnosed with late-stage cancer. Or a young man commits suicide. Or an entire family is wiped out by a drunk driver …. and the list goes on and on.

Over the centuries and millennia, we Jews have developed classic responses – based on the Torah’s worldview - when hearing about all these tragedies.

We should never have to use these responses – but it is still good to know them. [Some of these responses apply when mentioning someone else’s tragedy, while others apply when mentioning one’s own tragedy. Some are in Aramaic or Yiddish, while the majority are in Hebrew.] Here they are …

(1) Hashem Yeracheim! [Hebrew; pronounced: Hah-shem yuh-ra-khaym]. “May G-d have mercy [on us]!” A Jew turns to G-d in times of distress as the Only One Who can truly help through His divine mercy.

(2) Lo Aleinu! [Hebrew; pronounced: low ah-lay-noo] lit. “Not on us” [based on a passage in the Book of Eichah1:12 and the Talmud in Sanhedrin 104b] After sharing bad news with others, one inserts Lo Aleinu, as if to say: “May this catastrophe never befall any of us”.

(3) Refuah Sheleimah! [Hebrew; pronounced: ruh-foo-ah shuh-lay-muh] “[May G-d send you] a complete recovery!” In this classic response to hearing about another person’s (or even one’s own) illness, we beseech the all-powerful, Master of the Universe to heal us completely, with no residual side-effects.

(4) Rachmana Litzlan! [Aramaic; pronounced: rakh-muh-nuh litz-lun] lit. "O' Merciful One! Save us!"….same as #1 above.

(5) Es Zol Zein a Kapparah! [Yiddish; pronounced: ess zul zayn ah kah-puh-ruh] lit. “This should be an atonement [for my sins]. A Jew acknowledges that sometimes the illness or other challenge that he is going through is there to atone for the sins that he committed.

(6) Gam Zu L’Tovah! [Hebrew; pronounced: gom zoo leh-toe-vuh] “This, too, is for the good”. The classic Jewish response when bad things happen and one doesn’t understand why a merciful G-d would allow them. ‘Gam Zu L’Tovah’ is the Jewish person’s statement of faith in which he acknowledges that in some way, shape, or form ….it’s all ultimately good. [For an amazing illustration of how the concept of Gam Zu L‘Tovah works in real life, click on: https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/112506/jewish/Nahum-Ish-Gamzu.htm]

(7) Baruch Dayan Ha’Emes! [Hebrew; pronounced: buh-rookh dah-yun hah-em-ess] “Blessed is the true Judge!” Upon hearing exceptionally bad news, including the death of a close relative, one recites the blessing Baruch Dayan Ha’Emes, accepting G-d’s harsh judgment as the Truth – even though he presently has no understanding of why this had to happen the way it did.

It is our long-standing tradition that when the Messiah comes, we will no longer recite the blessing of Baruch Dayan Ha’Emes.

As we are taught in the Talmud (see Pesachim 50a):

Rabbi Acha bar Chanina said: “The World-to-Come is not like this world. In this world, upon good tidings one recites: Blessed…Who is good and does good, and over bad tidings one recites: Blessed…the true Judge. In the World-to-Come one will always recite: Blessed…Who is good and does good.” [There will be only one mode of blessing G-d for tidings … as there will only be good tidings.]

May we all live to see that day. Amen!

http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=712

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