Parshas Ki Savo
By Rabbi Dovid Zauderer
Throughout the centuries and millennia great scholars and philosophers have pondered the question of what is the true measure of a man. How can one tell whether or not one is truly a good person?
This question is especially important for us during the Hebrew month of Elul leading up Rosh Hashanah when we are meant to reflect on the previous year and improve our ways – yet how can we know if we have been truly good over the past year if we don’t know our true measure? Maybe we think that we are essentially good people and don’t have that much to repent for or change. But we could be wrong. How can one ascertain his true measure?
Before we answer this serious problem, allow me to share with you some really smart quotes from some really smart people on the True Measure of Man:
~ The measure of a man is what he does with power. – Plato
~ The true measure of a man is what he would do if he knew he would never be caught. - Lord Kelvin
~ Really, the measure of a man is when he’s tired and exhausted. - George Eads
~ The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. – Samuel Johnson
~ How will I be remembered by my children? This is the true measure of a man. - Brian Herbert
Interestingly, the Talmud in Eiruvin 65b addresses this very question of a man’s true measure (see also Midrash Derech Eretz Zuta 5:3) – and offers its own unique answers:
Rabbi Ila’i said: B’shloshah devarim adam nikar … in three ways a person’s true measure can be ascertained:
(1) B’koso, in his ‘cup’, i.e. his behavior when he drinks and lets his guard down.
(2) Uv’kiso, and in his ‘pocket’, i.e. his conduct in his financial dealings with other people.
(3) Uv’ka’aso, and in his ‘anger’, i.e. does he control his temper or not.
[We might also add to the list B’veiso, in his ‘house’, i.e. the way he acts when he is at home. We all know of people who are incredibly generous and thoughtful to others when they are at work or shul – but are complete tyrants inside their homes.]
Chiddushei Ha’Meiri, in his commentary to Eiruvin 65b, explains that since a person’s way of thinking, nature, and character are essentially hidden from his friend, who can only perceive him externally, Rabbi IIa’i provided us with these three ‘signs’ or measures through which one can tell if his friend is truly a good person or not.
Rabbeinu Yonah, in his classic work Sha’arei Teshuvah Gates of Repentance (3:148) explains yet another way to know one’s true measure. He bases his explanation on a verse in Proverbs 27:21, “A refining pot is for silver and a crucible for gold, and a man according to his praises.â€
Whereas most Bible commentators explain the end of the above verse “and a man according to his praises†to mean that if you want to know what a person is all about, you have only to listen to the way people are praising him (or not), Rabbeinu Yonah offers a novel interpretation of the verse. He writes that the stature of a person is measured on the basis of that which he praises. If he praises good deeds, and Torah scholars and righteous people, then you can know that he is a good person. This is because his praise of goodness inevitably comes from his deep convictions and his true character.
[In a humorous vein, I would add to the Talmud’s short list yet another way to ascertain someone’s true character: U’Picasso – i.e. does he enjoy modern art? What does it say to him? Reminds me of the hilarious scene in Woody Allen’s movie Play it Again, Sam, when he tries to pick up an attractive woman at the Museum of Modern Art:
Allen: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
Museum Girl: Yes, it is.
Allen: What does it say to you?
Museum Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, G-dless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum Girl: Committing suicide.
Allen: What about Friday night?]
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