Parshas Vayeishev
Did you know that the only place in the entire Torah where a yom huledes (“birthday partyâ€) is mentioned is at the very end of this week’s Torah portion, Parshas Vayeishev?
As the Torah tells us: “And it was on the third day, Pharaoh’s birthday, that he made a feast for all his servants …†(Genesis 40:20).
And what a wild and crazy birthday party that must have been! I mean, I have heard of some wacky, over-the-top, themed birthday parties in my life … but Pharaoh’s hanging of the Chamberlain of the Bakers at his party (ibid. 40:22) takes things to a whole new level, doesn’t it?
Which got me thinking about the very different birthday parties that were thrown by Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Binyamin Sofer around 150 years ago – and from which we can gain a Torah perspective about what birthday parties are for.
But first, a short biographical sketch of this great man is in order …
Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Binyamin Sofer ZTâ€L (1815–1871), also known by his main scholarly work, Ksav Sofer, was one of the leading rabbis of Hungarian Jewry in the second half of the nineteenth century and Rosh Yeshivah (Dean) of the famed Pressburg Yeshivah.
Shmuel Binyomin Sofer was born in Pressburg (now Bratislava) on March 13, 1815. His father, the famed Chasam Sofer, Rabbi of Pressburg, was the leader of Hungarian Jewry and one of the leading Rabbis of European Jewry. His mother Sarel (1790–1832) was the daughter of Rabbi Akiva Eger, Rabbi of Posen, one of the greatest Talmudic scholars of his time.
When he was six years old, his family fell ill and among them little Shmuel Volf, as he was called. The doctors had already given up on him. As a segulah (“protectionâ€) they added "Avraham" to his name, but to no avail. They already called in the Chevra Kadisha (Jewish Burial Society) and lit candles as was the custom of the time, and they said the last rites.
Then the doctors approached his father the Chasam Sofer and said, "We know that you are a G-dly and holy man; if with your prayers you cannot help your son, on our part, all hope is lost". After hearing this, the Chasam Sofer went to a corner where all his Torah manuscripts were and said a short prayer. At that time the sick child Avraham Shmuel Binyomin in his great weakness started screaming the Shema, and their prayers were answered; Shmuel Binyomin's condition took a turn for the better. The bewildered doctors said to the Chasam Sofer; now we truly know that you are a G-dly man, for as far as we could see, there was no hope for the child; to which he answered, "I hadn't given up hope, not even for a second."
The great pupils of the Chasam Sofer later testified that they heard the Chasam Sofer saying to himself at that time: Oif ein Yovel hub ich eim oisgebeten (“One Jubilee of years was I able to secure for himâ€). And so it was … little six-year-old Avraham Shmuel Binyomin lived for another fifty years and died at the age of fifty-six.
At age eighteen in 1833 Avraham Shmuel Binyomin married Chavah Leah Weiss, daughter of Rabbi Yitzchok Weiss of Gorlitz, who was well known for his piety. The latter gave him a large dowry and promised to support him for 15 years. The wedding was held in the town of Kamaren after which the couple settled in Pressburg where Sofer continued his studies and helped his father with the yeshivah.
On December 31, 1871 the Ksav Sofer died in Bratislava and the mantle as Rabbi of Pressburg passed to his son, Rabbi Simcha Bunim Sofer known as the Shevet Sofer.
The Ksav Sofer had 10 children — 6 sons and 4 daughters. The most notable recent descendant and heir to the Sofer legacy was Rabbi Yochanan Sofer ZTâ€L. Reb Yochanan – who was known as the Erlau Rebbe - was a direct descendant and fifth generation to the Chasam Sofer. Among his many notable endeavors, He founded and headed the Yeshivah Ohel Shimon in Katamon, Jerusalem.
[Ed. Note: My maternal grandfather Rabbi Yosef Mordechai Baumol ZTâ€L, was close to the Rebbe, and I had the privilege of receiving a warm blessing from the Rebbe shortly before his death.]
In his Rabbinic Responsa, the Ksav Sofer writes the following about his 50th birthday and how he celebrated it:
“Behold, I have blessedly taken my birthday, the first day of Adar, on which I have reached the age of 50, and I have thanked G-d publicly for having enabled us to live and sustained us to this time. And the Blessed One be He, Who gives strength to the weak to learn and teach, may He assist me for His sake and that of His Torah, to old age that he not leave or abandon me. And may He be with me as He was with our holy fathers to increase Torah and glorify it, and to fence in the breaches of the Torah that have increased, due to our sins...And on that day, the day G-d fashioned for me, I made a siyum (“completionâ€) of Tractate Pesachim. And on the first of Rosh Chodesh Adar I delivered a public talk upon the tractate's completion.â€
Apparently, the Ksav Sofer used his birthday not only to publicly express his gratitude to G-d for all that He had given him, and to ask G-d for the strength that he needed to carry on his life’s mission of disseminating Torah, but also as a time for personal reflection – as illustrated in the following thought-provoking story:
Whereas the custom of the Ksav Sofer had always been to celebrate the completion of a tractate of Talmud each year on his (Hebrew) birthday, and to make a party at which he would receive the many Jews who came from far and wide for his blessing, on one particular year he told his gabbai (“assistantâ€) that he would be closeting himself in his room for the whole day, and would not be seeing anyone on his birthday.
One visiting student was curious as to what the Ksav Sofer was doing in his private chamber. He managed to enter the Ksav Sofer’s room and was shocked to see his Rebbe sobbing uncontrollably. The student asked his Rebbe what the reason for his tears was, and the Ksav Sofer responded that this was his 54th birthday and he began to “judge himself†(dan, the Hebrew word for “judgeâ€, is spelled daled, nun, and has the numerical value, or gematria, of 54) and realized that he had not accomplished nearly as much as he should have in his 54 years in this world. He sensed that he was lacking in Torah knowledge and righteousness and good deeds and felt that he wasted so much precious time in his life - and was moved to tears by this realization.
When the student heard his Rebbe’s words and explanation of why he was crying on his birthday, he, too, began to cry. He then went outside and shared with all those present the powerful words and lessons to be learned from the 54th “birthday party†of the exceedingly humble Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Binyamin Sofer ZTâ€L.
http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=595