Parshas Shoftim (5778)
Remember those funny “I used to†jokes? (origin unknown)
~ I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
~ I used to work in a muffler factory, until I got exhausted.
~ I used to be a musician, but I wasn't noteworthy.
~ I used to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
~ I used to be a mountain climber, but I found the work rappelling.
~ I used to be a fortune teller, but I got fired. It's okay, I saw it coming.
~ I used to be a ballet dancer but found it too-too difficult.
~ I used to be a part-time hairdresser, but I wanted something more permanent.
~ I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
~ I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it.
~ I used to be a hotel receptionist, but then I had reservations.
~ I used to work for a submarine company, but it went under.
~ I used to work for a paper company, but it folded.
~ I used to be a history teacher, but there was no future in it.
~ I used to be a trapeze artist, but I was let go.
~ I used to be a cosmetic surgeon, which raised some eyebrows.
And then there is this classic from comedian Mitch Hedberg (who died of a drug overdose):
~ I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
So what does this have to do with anything, you ask? Frankly, not much. It’s a very loose tie-in, but I love the jokes!
You see, we are presently in the Hebrew month of Elul, leading up to Rosh Hashanah, the Day of Judgment, when, according to Jewish tradition, our fate for the coming year will be decided. Now is a good time to do Teshuvah (repentance) on all our sins of the past year, so that we will merit a good judgment for the coming year.
One of the main components of the Teshuvah process is Azivas HaCheit, Forsaking Sin. Rabbeinu Yonah, in his classic work, Shaarei Teshuvah (Gateways of Repentance), lists Azivas HaCheit as the “Second Principle of Teshuvah†[The other two main Principles of Teshuvah are Charatah, Sincere Regret, and Viduy, Verbal Confession.]
Rabbeinu Yonah explains that this Principle requires the penitent individual to resolve with his “entire heart†that he will never repeat his sin. Obviously, this means he must make a sincere resolution that he truly intends to fulfill, and he must try his hardest to avoid repeating the sin. Even if he ultimately fails, that does not negate the teshuvah that he did for the (first) sin. It only means that he must do teshuvah again and must try even harder this time.
Maimonides takes Azivas HaCheit a huge step further. In his Mishneh Torah Laws of Repentance 2:2, he writes the following:
“What constitutes Teshuvah? That a sinner should abandon his sins and remove them from his thoughts, resolving in his heart, never to commit them again, as [Isaiah 55:7] states "May the wicked abandon his ways...." Similarly, he must regret the past as [Jeremiah 31:18] states: "After I returned, I regretted." [He must reach the level where] He who knows the hidden will testify concerning him that he will never return to this sin again, as [Hoshea 14:4] states: "We will no longer say to the work of our hands: `You are our gods.'" He must verbally confess and state these matters which he resolved in his heart.â€
Yes, you read that correctly. According to Maimonides, one has to have such a firm commitment and resolve never to repeat his sin that G-d Himself (!) can testify about him that he won’t be a repeat offender!
So we see that Azivas HaCheit is not just some kind of shallow New Year’s Resolution thing which typically doesn’t last (for most people) for too long. Rather, this is serious business and it requires a sincere commitment and a tremendous effort to ensure that we don’t go back to our old ways right after Rosh Hashanah.
We need to work on our Azivas HaCheit and build up such a strong resolve not to sin again to the point that we can honestly say to ourselves: “I used to (fill in particular sin), but now I don’t do that anymore!â€
The only problem is how do we do this?
I would like to share with you one profoundly simple idea from our Sages that I think can help all of us succeed in our Azivas HaCheit this year.
The Midrash, expounding on a verse in Shir Hashirim 5:2, states that G-d lovingly tells the Jewish people: “Pischu Li Pesach K’Chudo Shel Machat, V’aani Eftach Lachem Pesach K’Pischo Shel Ulam - Open for me a hole like the eye of the needle, and I will open for you [the rest] like the entranceway to a great hallâ€.
The commentators explain that G-d is telling us that we don’t have to do the whole job ourselves. If we want to make a teshuvah “breakthrough†and effect positive changes in our lives for the coming year, all we need to do is to make a tiny little hole – like the size of the eye of a needle – and G-d will help us take care of the rest.
The one condition, however, is that the little hole that we make has to go all the way through to the other side, i.e. whatever small resolution we do take upon ourselves during the month of Elul has to be one that we know we will definitely be able to fulfill. And when G-d sees that we were sincere with that one tiny resolution - and that we actually came through on it - He will “make our little hole much bigger†and help us come through on all our other challenges as well.
The basic idea is to pick one small area in our lives that needs improvement and commit to changing it – but we need to make sure that we’ve picked something which we can virtually guarantee that we won’t fail at, so that G-d Himself will be able to testify that we are 100% sincere in our commitment, and that we will not repeat that sin again.
So, for example, one Friday in Elul when my wife and I decided that we wanted to change our Friday afternoon routine for the coming year because we were always running late with our Shabbos preparations and were stressed out and losing patience with each other and with the kids, we took upon ourselves to light the candles and take Shabbos in just five minutes earlier – not every Shabbos, which might have been unrealistic, but once a month. To make sure we carried out our resolution, my wife posted a big sign in the kitchen reminding us of the new time she wanted to light the candles and start Shabbos. This was one very small, but significant, commitment we made as a family before Rosh Hashanah and we were able to stick to it throughout the year.
Thank G-d, we all still have time during this month of Elul to get cracking with our Azivas HaCheit and Rosh Hashanah resolutions – and to making sure they stick!
http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=527