Public Speaking 101

Parshas Balak (5778)

By Rabbi David Zauderer (Toronto, Canada)

Guess what?! It’s our anniversary! It was twenty-six years ago this week – Parshas Balak - that my wife and I got married! May we all share many simchos (joyous occasions) together!

I recall that at one of the Sheva Berachos (lit. “Seven Blessings”, the seven-day period of celebratory meals following the wedding at which seven special blessings are recited in honor of the bride and groom at the end of the Grace after Meals), a friend of mine (now a famous speaker) got up to speak and opened with the following line: “The truth is that I am not much of a speaker – but if Bilaam’s donkey can do it, then so can I”.

Since we’re already on the topic of public speaking, I thought I would share with you some user-friendly ideas, insights, stories, and tips, from the Torah and elsewhere, that might just come in handy the next time you are called to the podium to speak.

I believe it was the comedian Jerry Seinfeld who said: “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than delivering the eulogy.”

As much as public speaking can seem quite scary, the more training and prep you have, the more likely are you to do a good job (as with everything in life).

The best speech is a short one. If you speak for only a short time, people will like your speech. They may not remember a thing you said, but they will remember that it was short, and they will like you for it. (It also helps to have a nice British or South African accent – or at least to fake one. People love accents.)

My wife’s grandfather once shared with me “Three Tips” for ensuring that the audience will like your speech: First, you have to stand up so that they can see you. Second, you have to speak up so that they can hear you, And Third, you have to shut up so that they can appreciate you!

A really good opening line is key. The Talmud records that the great sages used to start their lectures with mili d’bedichusa, light material or humor, just to open their students’ hearts and make them more receptive to the lecture.

Whenever I am asked to speak after a whole bunch of speakers, and the audience is getting tired and has almost had enough, I always start with this classic opening line: “As Henry the Eighth said to each of his wives: ‘I won’t keep you long’.”

If you are ever introduced to speak with a really dreadful introduction, you might try this line: “Of all my introductions, that was definitely the most recent.”

Or sometimes the introduction is exceedingly lavish and over-the-top – in which case this classic opening line might come in handy: “As former American President Lyndon Baines Johnson once said upon receiving just such an introduction: ‘I wish my mother and father might have been here to hear that introduction because my father would have enjoyed hearing what you said about me and my mother would have believed it’”.

Of course, the most important elements of a good talk are the content and the presentation. Our Sages teach us that Moses was the one who provided the content, the Torah that he received from G-d, while Aaron presented that content to the Jewish people in a way that they could understand and accept it.

My grandfather, who was a well-known rabbi and public speaker whose words had a great impact on his audiences, once said to me that when you speak, you have to preach, teach and reach.

Unfortunately, we don’t always reach the person or persons to whom we are speaking. Sometimes they are simply not ready to hear what we have to say because of some block that they have.

But not to despair …Rabbi Nachman of Breslov ZT”L writes an amazing thing. There are only three possibilities when we are speaking to another person about spiritual improvement.

Sometimes the message goes in right away. As the Rabbis teach us: “Devarim Hayotzim min HaLev, Nichnasim el HaLev … Words that are spoken from the heart can penetrate another person’s heart.”

At other times, the words that we speak get into the other person’s mind, but are not yet in his heart, but upon it. As we recite three times daily in the Shema, “Place these words of Mine upon you heart …” (see Deuteronomy 11:18). It might take years or even generations for the message to enter the other person’s heart and bear fruit, but at least those words are inside him and can one day do their magic.

The third possibility is that the person has made such a wall around himself so that the spiritual message that you share with him can’t penetrate him at all. Rabbi Nachman explains that all is not wasted, though, as your words literally bounce off your friend and are reflected back to you like a ball that is thrown against a wall. You are then able to be influenced and motivated by your own words!

One last very important point. Sometimes we prepare a class or a speech and very few people show up, and we get all depressed by it. Hopefully the following beautiful story will help. Enjoy!

Rabbi Shlomo Heiman ZT”L (1892-1945), the Rosh Yeshivah (Dean) of Yeshivah Torah Voda’as in Brooklyn, NY, had a most amazing way of teaching his students. He would shout with almost breathless rapture as he explained the Talmud and its commentaries to the young students. His eyes would sparkle and his hands would wave as he expounded upon the deep teachings of the Talmud with great enthusiasm. After the class was over, he would almost collapse from the exertion. On one particularly snowy day back in the early 1940’s, only four boys showed up to class. Nevertheless, Rabbi Heiman delivered his lecture as if the room was packed with hundreds of students. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he excitedly argued points of Talmudic law to the incredulous boys. As he paused to catch his breath, one of the boys mustered his courage and beseeched the great Rabbi. “Rabbi, please - there are only four of us!” The Rabbi’s eyes widened. “You think I am giving this class to just the four of you? I am giving this class to hundreds of boys - to you, your students, their students and their students!”

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