Parshas Acharei-Kedoshim (5778)
At the end of this week’s double portion, Parshas Acharei-Mos Kedoshim,
the Torah lists various forbidden sexual relationships and the penalties for transgressing them. When forbidding an incestuous relationship with one’s sister, the Torah calls it a chesed, or “disgrace†(see Leviticus 20:17).
Now the Hebrew word chesed literally means “kindnessâ€, a strange word to use in relation to incest.
Rashâ€i cites Toras Kohanim which explains that it was a “kindness†for G-d to allow Cain and Abel this one time to marry their sisters – even though incest is immoral – so that the human race could go on.
Of course, the obvious question is why G-d couldn’t just create two parallel families in the Garden of Eden so that their children could marry each other, and the human race could continue without resorting to incest?
The Mishnah in Sanhedrin 37a explains that G-d had important reasons for creating man (Adam) alone, with all of humanity descending from just one family. [I guess you could call it the Adam’s Family!]
One reason is to teach us that one who destroys a single Jewish soul is considered to have destroyed the entire world. [For we see that all mankind descends from Adam.] Likewise, one who saves a Jewish soul is considered to have saved the entire world. [Remember the ring in Schindler’s List?]
The Mishnah (ibid) offers a number of other reasons.
The Talmud in Sanhedrin 38a cites a Beraisa (Mishnaic teaching) which adds more reasons for why G-d created man alone, so that all of humanity originates from one single family.
One reason given is so that the righteous people should not say: “We are the children of the righteous man and we have inherited his righteousness. There is no need for us to distance ourselves from potential sin since we will not sin anywayâ€. And so the wicked people will not say: “We are the sons of the evil man and we have inherited his evil disposition. It is thus useless for us to repent for we are doomed to sin.†[When the righteous person sees that he has the same ancestor as his wicked neighbor, he will be more careful not to fall into sin. And when the wicked man sees that he comes from Adam just like his righteous neighbor, he realizes that he has the potential to become righteous too.]
Another interesting reason offered by the Talmud for why G-d wanted man to be created alone, with all of humanity emanating from him, is so that families should not quarrel with each other and say: “Our forefather was greater than your forefather.†And this most certainly would have occurred, for if they quarrel now that man was created alone - although they all share the same forefather - then if two men with parallel families had originally been created, they would certainly have quarreled!
Rabbi Zalman Sorotzkin ZTâ€L, in his classic Bible commentary Oznayim LaTorah, adds that while creating man alone and having all of humanity descend from him was indeed an incredible chesed for mankind, in that it serves to reduce the strife between families and nations, G-d performed an even greater chesed for every husband and wife by creating the original “First Couple†from the same flesh. This way, Adam and Eve had a natural love for each other which set the tone for all future marriages. And even the “second generation†of married couples - Cain and Abel and their sisters - who were no longer created of the same flesh, also felt a natural closeness to one another because they both came from the same family.
I mean, think about it … Cain could never make any nasty mother-in-law jokes to his sister/wife because his mother-in-law was also his mother!
If only all future married couples would internalize the message of G-d’s chesed to humanity and realize that both husband and wife descend from the same parents – what a different world it would be!
The truth is that even today, on a Kabbalistic level, each husband and wife share the same two parents. The Sefer Chareidim (a 16th century commentary on the commandments and Kabbalistic theology written by Rabbi Elazar Azikri) writes that one is obligated to honor one’s in-laws because the Kabbalah teaches that a husband and wife are considered like one body and one soul, so that the father and mother of this one is in reality the father and mother of this one. If my wife and I are soul mates united as one, then we share everything – even our parents. I am therefore obligated to honor and respect my spouse’s birth parents the same way I respect my own birth parents.
I remember once in the early stages of our marriage when I was having some “in-law issuesâ€, that I jokingly told my wife: “Why, I love your mother-in-law much more than I love my mother-in-law".
Turns out, it’s not such a joke after all since my mother-in-law is my mother! Who knew?
http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=511