Parshas Noach (5769)
By Rabbi Zee
I thought I would try something different this week ... and I will tell you why. You see, I am fully aware that many people start reading this Torah article and, after a few lines or paragraphs, begin to get jumpy and antsy and lose the mental concentration and soul-driven energy required to get through thes often long and wordy Rabbinical rants. Personally, I think this is SADD ... . I'm referring, of course, to "Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder", which afflicts many Jews as soon as they start reading a Torah text or hearing a Rabbi's sermon. So this week I figured I would play doctor and prescribe just what my readers need ... a healthy dose of Riddlin' - short, stimulating "Biblical" riddles, some funny, some serious - to help you keep focused throughout the entire read. Enjoy!
FUNNY RIDDLES
Q: Where is the first baseball game mentioned in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: "Your mother ate us out of house and home"
Q: How long did Cain hate his brother?
A: As long as he was Abel!
Q: What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
A: Flood lights
Q: Who introduced salted meat to the Navy?
A: Noah - he took Ham with him into the ark
Q: What did God say when Noah told him he wanted to build the ark out of bricks?
A: "No, Noah -- go for wood"
Q: Where did Noah keep the bees?
A: In the ark hives.
Q: Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible?
A: Noah; he floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.
Q: What did the cat say when the ark landed?
A: Is that Ararat?
Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh's daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: G-d drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson - he brought the house down.
TORAH RIDDLES
Q: Which five people in the Bible never had a grandfather?
A: Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel and Seth
Q: Which tragedy mentioned in the Bible caused the annihilation of one quarter of mankind?
A: The murder of Abel, which diminished the world's population from four to three.
Q: Which person in the Bible passed away at an age that the first, second and third digit of his age was the same number?
A: Lemech, who lived for 777 years (see Genesis 5:31)
Q: Who were the first (recorded) vegetarians in the history of the world?
A: All of mankind were vegetarians until the Flood, as eating the meat of animals was only permitted after the Flood (see Genesis 9:3)
Q: Where in the Bible do five two-letter words appear consecutively?
A: This appears three times in the Torah:
~ "Noach es Sheim es Cham" (Genesis 5:32)
~ "Ki gam zeh lach bein" (ibid. 35:17)
~ "Ki yad al keis Y-ah" (Exodus 17:16)
Q: How can it be that a boy who was born two weeks before his friend will celebrate his bar-mitzvah two weeks after his friend?
A: The situation could occur if the two boys were born in a Jewish leap year (in which a second month of Adar is added on before Nissan). If the older of the two was born on the 15th of Adar Rishon (the first Adar) and the younger of the two boys was born on the 1st of Adar Sheini (the second Adar), and their bar-mitzvahs occur in a regular, non-leap year, the younger of the two boys will celebrate his bar-mitzvah on the 1st of Adar, while the older will celebrate his bar-mitzvah fifteen days later on the 15th of the month.
Q: I come from a kosher animal, but I cannot be eaten because I am both milk and meat. What am I?
A: The udder of a cow.
Q: Of which two people in the Bible can it be said that their names spelled backwards are words used by the Torah to describe them?
A: Noah and Er, son of Judah. Concerning Noach the verse says "Noach found favor (chein) in G-d's eyes." (Genesis 6:8). In Hebrew, Chein is Noach spelled backwards. Concerning Er, the verse says "And Er, Judah's firstborn, was evil (ra) in G-d's eyes." (ibid. 38:7) In Hebrew, Ra is Er spelled backwards.
Q: Did Esau get nachas from any of his children? (Note: Nachas generally refers to getting satisfaction or pleasure from someone or something).
A: Yes. Nachas, son of Reuel, was the name of one of Esau's grandchildren (Genesis 36:17). Hence, Esau got "Nachas" from his son Reuel. [For this reason, some people bless each other with the phrase "You should have 'yiddishe' (Jewish) nachas", as opposed to 'Esau-type' nachas.]
Q: Which verse in the Bible contains all 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet?
A: Exodus 16:16. This verse, which contains all the letters of in Hebrew alphabet, describes the gathering of the miraculous manna which fell in the desert: "This is the thing that G-d commanded: Each person should gather of it as much as he needs to eat, an omer-measure per person, according to the number of people each man has in his tent." This teaches that whoever fulfills the Torah in its entirety - "from alef to tuf" (the first and last letters in the Hebrew alphabet) - will be assured of his sustenance by G-d.
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